Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Adventures of the Evangelist Clock!

This tract is by a company called the Evangelical Tract Distributors. I've been coming across a LOT of their stuff lately. This one was found today in fact, in the same phone box as yesterday's entry.

Also the pen marks where there when I found it. Go ahead and hit the jump.

Okay, so assuming this hasn't been completely made up (which I'm sure it totally has) we basically have the story of a bereaved guy who had a mental breakdown because his clock was talking to him. How is this supposed to be convincing again?

How does one interpret a ticking clock as saying "For ever, where?" anyways?


  1. Once upon a midnight, grieving, Daniel wiped away tears, weeping
    Over dear and diverting memory of a beloved family pair
    While he sat there nearly nodding, suddenly there came a knocking
    As of someone standing, mocking, mocking of his great despair
    "Tis some idiot," he grumbled "Mocking at my great despair"
    And then he turned, but no-one there

    Then this mahogany clock beguiling his sad fancy into smiling
    By the worn and weary wood of the old ornaments it bore
    "Oh! thy tick simply follows tock like you have mind to sit and mock!
    You terrible old clock; you surely gave me quite a scare!
    How to turn you off so that your ticking stops right there?"
    Quoth the wall clock; "For ever, where?"

    So with a rage he started towards the clock whose mocking smarted
    Arms outstretched, lips he parted snarling at the cheeky mare
    With great vigour he dismantled the awful little vandal
    Splintered with his sandal that which laughed at his despair
    Back to his chair he returned, wood chips laying on the floor
    This tract's conclusion be no more.

    Ahem.... got a bit carried away there. But points still stands; what a lazy version of The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe.

  2. Holy shit you're right! Nice one :D