Monday 30 August 2010

And now for something completely different.

If you know what this is advertising, you probably already know how it works. The primary recruitment tool of Scientology is the stress test, in which they hook you up to an important looking machine, call you out as like OH NOES TOTALLY STERSSTD, and get you to pay incredible amounts of money for Scientology books, DVDs and Courses.

Once upon a time they used Buchanan Street as Stress Test ground, but no longer. Hit the jump.



This is one of the business cards they hand out.

The whole Incident II thing in Scientology is pretty well known in mainstream pop culture these days (You know, Xenu, alien ghosts, that whole thing) so I won't bother re-iterating it here. I WILL however mention that yes, that is EXACTLY why there is a volcano on the cover of Dianetics. I remember reading some place that the reason for this, according to Scientology, is that it's meant to subliminally remind non-scientologists about the volcanoes they were nuked in 75 million years back, making them intrigued and making them buy the books. 
The opening of Dianetics really does discribe itself as a greater discovery than the wheel or fire. It's THAT full of itself.
Here's one of the other leaflets they used to hand out.


The back of the same leaflet, which you're meant to fill in and return. Because you REALLY want to be giving your card number to a sinister cult don't you? Don't you?



And the same thing but red. Just cuz!

In 2008, 4chan offshoot Anonymous started protesting against the cult, and yes, this meant the stress test stands in Glasgow. For the next few months, the Anons would show up to protest the Scientologists, almost without fail, until one day, both stopped showing up entirely, first the Scientologists, then Anonymous.

I actually spoke to some Anons a few months back. They had shown up, but the Scientologists had not. Supposedly the Scientologists have stopped coming to Buchanan street altogether for not being properly liscenced to sell stuff in the middle of the street. So....yeah.

This isn't everything I've got from them by the way. The best is yet to come ;)

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